“Friendship”
“For prayer is nothing other than being on terms of friendship with God.” Teresa of Avila
Overview
After “Second Conversion,” a major shift occurs in our faith. Up until this point, we might have slipped into a type of faith that only seeks to do FOR God. In the process, we might have vastly undervalued the importance of learning to BE WITH God. This new stage is reached when we are finally able to rest in what we’ve claimed to know all along… that our chief purpose is to worship AND enjoy the presence of God. During this phase, it is common for us to do less in order to be more present to the voice and movement of God in our lives. This stage is about learning how to be friends with the divine. Thus, there is frequently a strong emphasis on contemplative and mystical exercises.
Moses (Exodus 33)
Levels for Stage 7:
-
Knowledge of God
Not only knows about God’s story, but the heart and character of God. The believer is finding newfound wisdom and insights into the divine life much more regularly. They are even willing to wrestle with tough questions of faith.
Baseline: Able to reconcile faith and science, possesses a rationale for theodicy, and able to discover the Gospel embedded within secular/alternate worldviews.
-
Spiritual Disciplines
Genuinely enjoys spending time with God. Spiritual practices happen numerous times a day in a variety of ways. Discipline has evolved from doing to being.
Frequency: 2-3 times a day
-
Service of Others
Increased desire to serve and care for others. Less obligation driven and more genuine desire to love their neighbor. Not only finds deep connection with neighbor through service, but connection to God.
Frequency: Couple times a week
-
Church Engagement
Understands we don’t just go to church, but we ARE the church. The mission of the church has begun affecting personal priorities and values. Offers leadership in the church when invited.
Frequency: Weekly (or more if serving in leadership)
-
Witness to Others
Genuinely enjoys and even seeks out opportunities to share what they are learning about faith. Has begun witnessing to those both outside AND inside the church.
Frequency: Bi-monthly on average
The “Friendship Stage” found in Scripture:
-
I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
John 15:15
-
And so it happened just as the Scriptures say: “Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith.” He was even called the friend of God.
James 2:23
-
A friend sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24
Spiritual Diet during
this Stage
-
Probably the most important theme of this stage is learning that rest is a form of worship. Obviously, this is found through practicing Sabbath on a more frequent basis. However, this stage is also about cultivating stillness in God’s presence (especially when we are tempted to worry or despair). Even within one’s own spiritual disciplines, the believer becomes less focused on doing things FOR God, and instead focuses on being WITH God. This stems from a newfound confidence in the unconditional acceptance of God.
-
Building off the theme of rest, another important part of this stage is learning how to say no. It is quite remarkable how simplifying our calendar, our possessions, even our relationships can allow us to discover God more to not try to be all things to all people so that we can tend to the most important things.
-
Every stage up until this point has encouraged the need for community via mentorship, small groups, finding a church home, etc. And while all believers ought to maintain these practices, something that seasoned Christians encounter is a need for 1-3 close friendships with persons where they can be fully vulnerable. Think of how Jesus modeled this with Peter, James and John. These were, in essence, his inner circle. At this stage of faith, the believer has a greater desire for quality, rather than the quantity of friendships they possess. The newfound intimacy they’ve discovered with their creator has introduced a desire for the same with specially ordained earthly friendships (see also Ruth and Naomi or David and Jonathan in the Bible).
Sample Exercises
-
Here in Western culture, it is vastly understated how much our belongings have impacted (and impeded) our faith. The more things we own, the more we are pulled in various directions as we attempt to manage, care for, and accumulate MORE. To resist this temptation, practice purging your life in the areas where you have more than you need. Consider starting with your closet. Get rid of anything you haven’t worn in over a year. After that, simplify the more consequential areas of your life: responsibilities, relationships, activities that are crowding out the Spirit’s ability to lead you into something new.
-
Our identities are heavily defined by how we spend our time. Maybe you find a lot of meaning and worth through your time at work? Maybe it is the time and effort you spend on social media? Or maybe your identity is defined by the time you give to a particular relationship? Obviously, this practice is not encouraging you to be wasteful, but it is an invitation to make time for rest and renewal of self. Remember, you cannot love your neighbor as yourself if you aren’t taking the time to love yourself.
-
There are many different variations on this, but the goal is to chronicle the various ways God has blessed your life. Science teaches us that if we don’t take the time to be grateful for life’s goodness, we forget it even happened. Maybe this is a daily exercise? Maybe weekly? The purpose is to pay better attention to all that is right and good in your life. These are gifts from God. Furthermore, gratitude is not merely a feeling, but a spiritual discipline that increases our trust, faith, joy, and contentment in God.
Trap #7 to avoid:
Christian Coasting
There is a particular snare that awaits those who have successfully navigated through the temptations of legalism and self-righteousness. At this point in the journey, we’ve learned to rest in God’s grace, rather than our own works. However, if we are not mindful, complacency can set in quite quickly. Rest and friendship with God are not passive modes of being. Now that we have reached the realization that works are not a requirement for God’s love, we cannot allow acts of piety and acts of mercy to end up subsiding altogether. Furthermore, it is also possible to fall into a spiritual laziness that is guilty of ignoring areas of our souls that have become unhealthy or sinful. The greatest danger with coasting is that eventually the gravity of life’s obstacles will pull us backward in faith. (See the Church in Laodicea in the book of Revelation.)
Resources
For more information about this stage of the Christian journey, use the link below!